Friday, December 17, shortly before the time of my writing workshop, I get in my car and I'll get my mail. The red boxes on the side of the street. By opening my mailbox, I see a key with a chain after which hangs a blue plastic rectangle. I'm sighing because I unfortunately know what she means. In a post office box larger, it is surely a brown envelope containing my manuscript rejected. Another ...
Well yes! That was not my non-surprise envelope. I slide under the arm and the other, then I insert the key into the top slot and I sat down in my car. I do not open the envelope, not right away. Once at the store at Cafe d'Art (this is where I give my workshops), I looked at the time. I still have ten minutes before the course starts. Well, I open it, otherwise I will not stop thinking about it during the workshop. I read the denial letter, I am disappointed, deeply. And sad too. All that work for that ... I block the emotions that are trying to mount, and then I go out. I want to dedicate myself to my role as facilitator, but not hard news affects my work. I succeed, the studio is going well. I feel very happy because after I shared my passion.
I returned home, opened the envelope with my emotions and sudden unlocked. All night, I cry! What a crybaby, you say? Yes, I will answer you. I'm sad because I trusted the publisher, but she turned away. Moreover, it is not the first time she turns me back. She has already done for other manuscripts. Here, I think I understand ...
The following days are painful. I have to manage my emotions come in waves and I pass through the body like a tidal wave. I feel a lot of anger, resentment and despair. I even temporarily lose the taste write ... This refusal raises another suffering, old as I carry from childhood. The feeling of rejection. Yep, I have to live with this little problem, incidentally, makes me tremendously evolve.
whole story, then, makes me understand that I must toughen up, I gotta believe in me more than others can do.
Yes, I know, the most important is the path and not the destination. I even wrote a post on it. Life has arranged for me to put into practice what I preached. Ah! But between you and me, three rejections in less than two weeks is hard to accept, right?
Too bad for this publishing house, which I say. The woman who wrote Harry Potter did she not suffered several refusals before the manuscript is finally accepted? Imagine those who refused. They have to bite the fingers today! She made millions, even billions with his series.
Too bad for the publisher. Too bad ...
Today I wrote a new letter. After the holidays, I will send my manuscript to other publishers. That is my life as a writer. I must not let go. I must regain confidence in me. This is not because a publisher decides not to publish my manuscript, it is good to throw in the trash. It's just that my story does not suit them for XYZ reasons. Surely there on Earth a readership for this story, I have not written anything, it exists because it has something to say to someone. I just need to find the right publisher for it, and I'll find it.
There.
Thanks for being there and read me.
soon,
Annie xxx ...
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